Well, I did it. I have officially scarred my son for life. I knew this day would come, and low and behold, it did. After 6 days of playing peek-a-boo with his poo.....it all came down to this:
The dreaded Suppository.
And trust me...... I just shuddered when I typed that. And threw up a little in my mouth. And wanted to burst into tears. It is not a pleasant memory. After a long, long, tedious, (borderline hellish ) day of running errands with all four kids I was at my breaking point. And I'm sure Braden was too. The poor little guy was six days past comfortable and I was dragging him here there and everywhere. No wonder he was constipated. I don't know many people that would just LOVE to unload their bowels at Costco....let alone a little boy whose only been poop on the potty one other time in his life. So.....by the time we got home, it was not pretty. He was in misery and I knew what had to be done.....had to be done.
So.....I made my sister come up and do it for me. (But in my defense.....she is a nurse. And I've never given a suppository in my life. And I am VERY squeamish when it comes to those sorts of things. I mean, I won't even help my kids pull their loose teeth out. Ewwww. And plus, did I not threaten my son that I was going to stick a pokey up his bum? Um yeah. Kind of not a good idea if I actually followed through with that threat. So I made my sis do the dirty work for me. And she was such a lamb to agree to it.)
Okay. So it was all said and done and he was not a happy camper. (But again, I don't know anyone on God's green earth that would be after that scenario.) And we wait. And wait. And then, because we planned on going to a movie, we can't wait anymore. I just put a pull-up on him and we head out the door. Immediately in the car he is doubled over in pain and crying that he needs to go. So we make a quick stop at my Mom's house because that is the closest bathroom and although I can tell that he totally needs to go HE JUST WON'T DO IT. He is terrified and at this point screaming in pain so I put him back in the car and hope that he can hold it until he gets to the movie theatre. No such luck. Not even two minutes later.....he is writhing in his seat and crying and saying " I just want to go in my pull up mom. I just want to poop in my underwears." So I make an impulsive decision. I unbuckle his seat belt, tell him to get out and go for it.
The next 10 minutes in the car on our way to the mall.....he is leaning over his car seat, bracing himself, and pooping like he's never pooped before. I mean, the boy was going to town. I say to the other kids in the backseat, "Does it smell back there you guys?" because I have yet to catch a whiff of the treasure that he is leaving in his diaper.....and I turn around and all three other kids are holding their shirts up over their noses and looking like they want to pass out.
"Does it smell???" Zachary responds with just a hint of sarcasm in his voice. "What do you think?" Um yeah. I think he just answered my obvious question.
So we get to the mall and all the kids unload out of the car as fast as their little legs will carry them and take deep breaths of the sweet, fresh air outside.....as Braden keeps on keepin' on.
Lewis and the kids go inside to buy the movie tickets and it's just me and B in the car.....chillin'. Poopin'. Stinkin'. Finally.....after a bloomin' eternity.....he is ready for me to change his pull-up.
And. Oh. My. Heck.
That's all I'm gonna say.
The boy looked like he had eaten a midget. No wait. Strike that. He looked like he had eaten the whole freakin' lollipop guild.
I had ten wipes left to my name.....and that was not enough. I had poo all over my hands, all over the wipes case, and all over the two Ziploc bags that I managed to round up because there was no way in you know where I was going to be seen carrying THAT pull-up through the parking lot of the mall. It was not a pretty sight, but you know what? We may have taken a step back with the whole pooping on the potty thing by letting him go in his diaper, but boy oh boy, was it worth it. For the rest of the evening? A happy camper all the way.
After all, who wouldn't be after dropping 6 days worth of crap in their pants?
08.14.09
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