Good:
Zachary and Kylie have finally reached that special age of maturity......you know, that age when you can send them unassisted into the grocery store with a couple of dollars to buy a loaf of french bread for dinner. And all I can say is: It's about dang time! It is one of the great moments in a Mother's life when you can take these little wee ones that you've raised for so long and turn them out into the world to do all the little tasks that you despise. It's like the circle of life or something. (I think.) Zach was a wee bit nervous to do it. He thought the cashier would hassle him, ask him where his mom was, take his money and run. So......I talked Kylie into going in with him (there's safety and comfort in numbers) and they were good to go. After a quick trip in and out (and no pedophiles lurking in the aisles of Ream's to grab them.....they were okay Dad, I promise) they were out with the loaf of bread and pleased as punch that they were able to do it for me. After all, that's why we have kids, right? Child labor.
Kidding.....kidding......
Bad:
If you were going to purchase a flat iron for $100 dollars.....here are some of the things that you may expect it from it:
Make your hair straight and silky smooth
Guarantee a good hair day every day
Clean your house for you
Do your taxes
Babsit your kids
Tell you how pretty you look
Wipe your bum
Be covered in gold and diamonds
And most importantly:
Have an automatic shut off!
Apparently the makes of the Chi flat iron think different from me. (That's why if I were to be in the inventor of a flat iron it would do all those things and more!......for only $9.95) Alas, if I were to pick one of the things from the above list that I desired the most it would be the automatic shut-off (although the cleaning the house is verrrrrry tempting.) I would pick this feature mainly because I am a complete air-head when it comes to shutting off hot appliances and therefore an automatic shutoff would be very handy.....to say the least.
Today I left my flat iron on for hours and hours, and after I discovered that it had been on practically the WHOLE day long, I had a momentary minute of panic thinking of all the things that could have happened with the flat iron. I mean, those bad boys get really, really hot. A child could have burned themselves, I could have burned myself, my house could have burned down. (It was a pretty stressful minute.) But then I was over it. And the only thing left fuming was me. I mean seriously? A HUNDRED dollar flat iron that doesn't have an automatic turn off? That's just criminal.
08.25.09
Monday, September 21, 2009
Day 20
Bad:
I've discovered that it is probably not the best idea to take four kids miniature golfing. Not only is it impossible for Lewis and I to even play along with them (so we got smart this time.....and didn't) but it is an even worse idea to continue playing with four kids BY MYSELF because Lewis had to head off to a softball game. Let's just say it was not a grand idea. It was pretty much a golfing free-for-all....with no rules whatsoever.....and kids hitting balls wherever and whenever they dang well pleased. It's a good thing that we decided not to keep score because I'm pretty sure that each of the kids would have shot a 208 for 18 holes.......And that's being generous. Oh well. It was all in my name of fun.
Good:
Well. I have been holding off for a few days now just to make sure that I don't announce this prematurely....................................................................................................................................
..........................................................................................................................................................
(And I'm sure that what I'm going to say is really going to surprise you. And it is shocking, and surprising, and wonderful and Lewis and I couldn't be more pleased. And I bet you're just DYING to hear my announcement.......so I guess I better get on with it.................................)
Ahem. Drum roll please................................................................................................................
I've discovered that it is probably not the best idea to take four kids miniature golfing. Not only is it impossible for Lewis and I to even play along with them (so we got smart this time.....and didn't) but it is an even worse idea to continue playing with four kids BY MYSELF because Lewis had to head off to a softball game. Let's just say it was not a grand idea. It was pretty much a golfing free-for-all....with no rules whatsoever.....and kids hitting balls wherever and whenever they dang well pleased. It's a good thing that we decided not to keep score because I'm pretty sure that each of the kids would have shot a 208 for 18 holes.......And that's being generous. Oh well. It was all in my name of fun.
Good:
Well. I have been holding off for a few days now just to make sure that I don't announce this prematurely....................................................................................................................................
..........................................................................................................................................................
(And I'm sure that what I'm going to say is really going to surprise you. And it is shocking, and surprising, and wonderful and Lewis and I couldn't be more pleased. And I bet you're just DYING to hear my announcement.......so I guess I better get on with it.................................)
Ahem. Drum roll please................................................................................................................
Our little Braden is finally potty trained! Ta Da!
(What? Did you think I was going to announce something else?)
I know it's been a few entries since I've talked the logistics of potty training. And I know ya'll sorely miss it, but I'm going to keep this entry detail free. (Plus I've talked enough potty talk to last me for months and months......maybe even years.) Let's just say this......It has been FIVE whole days and nary an accident has been had.......#2 and all! I think he's finally grasped the whole "If you poop on the toilet, not only is it much easier, but also, a monster will not come out of the toilet and grab you in" idea. Seriously, I don't know what the boy was so afraid of. He was terrified to drop a deuce in the toilet......take the kids for a swim.....baptize a Lamanite.....you get the general idea. (Oopsie. Sorry. I forgot that this entry was supposed to be detail free. Oh well.) BUT, I am so proud to say that we have definitely overcome this hurdle and now my little Beepers can move on to bigger and better things. Without diapers. And poopy bums. In his cute little underwears. Good work B! (And it's about dang time!)
08.24.09
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Day 19
Good:
Approximately four times a year I get the very distinct pleasure of having my husband home with me the WHOLE day on Sunday. I feel as though it is a little gift from above and treasure those days. (Who thought that I would ever treasure Stake Conference, but low and behold, I do.) Well fortunately for me, we got a whole unexpected Sunday in the form of a Temple Dedication to treasure as well. And believe me, I did. When Lewis is home on Sunday I get to guilt trip him into doing all sorts of things he doesn't normally do because of my Sunday "single mom" status. I get to sleep in while he gets the kids breakfast. I get to take a nap in the afternoon, which I absolutely ADORE. I get to bamboozle him into making the majority of dinner by himself by getting him to grill on the BBQ. It's fantastic I tell you! Like a holiday in diguise.
Bad:
Hi. My name is Florrie and I am a glue gun amateur. One would think that I am all crafty and such......I mean, I'm Mormon. And a stay-at-home Mom. And I like to scrapbook. But apparently these are not prerequisites to being proficient with a glue gun. Tonight, as I was trying to finish up the bows from the bow party I had a few days ago, I freakin' burnt the literal crap out of my finger. But, in my defense, here's how it played out:
I was sitting at the desk in the office all minding my own business, trying to do my own thing ......which is apparently an invitation for all FOUR children to be milling around, watching what I am doing, and stressing me out! So, low and behold, I got all flustered and touched the scorching hot glue from the glue gun and Voila! A burnt, blistered, throbbing, pointer finger. It was not pretty. And not fun. And it hurt.....badly. And I vowed to never use a glue gun again. Only, now, how am I going to finish these bloomin' bows?????
08.23.09
Approximately four times a year I get the very distinct pleasure of having my husband home with me the WHOLE day on Sunday. I feel as though it is a little gift from above and treasure those days. (Who thought that I would ever treasure Stake Conference, but low and behold, I do.) Well fortunately for me, we got a whole unexpected Sunday in the form of a Temple Dedication to treasure as well. And believe me, I did. When Lewis is home on Sunday I get to guilt trip him into doing all sorts of things he doesn't normally do because of my Sunday "single mom" status. I get to sleep in while he gets the kids breakfast. I get to take a nap in the afternoon, which I absolutely ADORE. I get to bamboozle him into making the majority of dinner by himself by getting him to grill on the BBQ. It's fantastic I tell you! Like a holiday in diguise.
Bad:
Hi. My name is Florrie and I am a glue gun amateur. One would think that I am all crafty and such......I mean, I'm Mormon. And a stay-at-home Mom. And I like to scrapbook. But apparently these are not prerequisites to being proficient with a glue gun. Tonight, as I was trying to finish up the bows from the bow party I had a few days ago, I freakin' burnt the literal crap out of my finger. But, in my defense, here's how it played out:
I was sitting at the desk in the office all minding my own business, trying to do my own thing ......which is apparently an invitation for all FOUR children to be milling around, watching what I am doing, and stressing me out! So, low and behold, I got all flustered and touched the scorching hot glue from the glue gun and Voila! A burnt, blistered, throbbing, pointer finger. It was not pretty. And not fun. And it hurt.....badly. And I vowed to never use a glue gun again. Only, now, how am I going to finish these bloomin' bows?????
08.23.09
Day 18
Bad:
So pretty much at least once a year you can count on me crying as if my heart would break. This said crying usually occurs when it comes time to say goodbye to my sister. And today was that fateful day. I dread it. In fact, the whole time she is here I am usually thinking about the goodbye. Will it be horrible this time? Will I try not to cry? When will be the next time that I see her? I try my darnedest to have fun when she is here, but I can't help the big looming time clock that keeps ticking down until the final day. It's pure torture. Well, early this morn I headed on down to the 'rent's house to say goodbye and the whole way there I am chanting this mantra: Be strong. Don't cry. Be strong. Don't cry. Well wouldn't you know it: dang mantra didn't work! Go figure. It was pretty much a train wreck. There were hugs and tears and goodbyes and tears and I tried to make it short and sweet because really? There were lots of tears. In fact, when I got in the car to drive home I was crying so hysterically that I'm pretty sure my four kids were all thinking: "Geesh Mom. Get it together." But I just couldn't help it. It was pure, unadulterated UGLY CRYING. You know, where your face get's all ugly and your lip is quivering and the tears just keep flowing. (As opposed to PRETTY crying, where you are looking fresh as a Georgia peach and one lone tear runs down your cheek. I am NOT a believer in this kind of crying. Go hard or go home, I always say.)
Anyway, I pretty much had a day filled with tears, semi-depression, and thoughts of when I'm going to see her next. That's the WORST part.....not knowing. I sure hope it's not another year. I'm not sure I can handle that. So P.S Lewis....how's about flying me out to visit my sister for my B.Day. (Hint. Hint.) Just a thought.
Good:
Tonight I had a much needed date with Lewis. Now you might laugh when I tell you that our date was to the Elder's Quorum/High Priest dinner. You might also laugh when I tell you that I tried my little heart out to get him to ditch this partay for better options. (Of which I could think about 100) But No......Lewis thought that we should go, and go we did. And low and behold....we actually had fun. Mostly I think it was because we were able to get away from the four maniacs for awhile and just spend some time with each other. In mean, it wasn't our greatest date of all time. It didn't even hold a candle to the time that we got an outdoor couples' massage in Hawaii....now that's a great date FYI. But tonight, to get me out of my sister-leaving-semi-depression....it seemed to work just fine.
08.22.09
So pretty much at least once a year you can count on me crying as if my heart would break. This said crying usually occurs when it comes time to say goodbye to my sister. And today was that fateful day. I dread it. In fact, the whole time she is here I am usually thinking about the goodbye. Will it be horrible this time? Will I try not to cry? When will be the next time that I see her? I try my darnedest to have fun when she is here, but I can't help the big looming time clock that keeps ticking down until the final day. It's pure torture. Well, early this morn I headed on down to the 'rent's house to say goodbye and the whole way there I am chanting this mantra: Be strong. Don't cry. Be strong. Don't cry. Well wouldn't you know it: dang mantra didn't work! Go figure. It was pretty much a train wreck. There were hugs and tears and goodbyes and tears and I tried to make it short and sweet because really? There were lots of tears. In fact, when I got in the car to drive home I was crying so hysterically that I'm pretty sure my four kids were all thinking: "Geesh Mom. Get it together." But I just couldn't help it. It was pure, unadulterated UGLY CRYING. You know, where your face get's all ugly and your lip is quivering and the tears just keep flowing. (As opposed to PRETTY crying, where you are looking fresh as a Georgia peach and one lone tear runs down your cheek. I am NOT a believer in this kind of crying. Go hard or go home, I always say.)
Anyway, I pretty much had a day filled with tears, semi-depression, and thoughts of when I'm going to see her next. That's the WORST part.....not knowing. I sure hope it's not another year. I'm not sure I can handle that. So P.S Lewis....how's about flying me out to visit my sister for my B.Day. (Hint. Hint.) Just a thought.
Good:
Tonight I had a much needed date with Lewis. Now you might laugh when I tell you that our date was to the Elder's Quorum/High Priest dinner. You might also laugh when I tell you that I tried my little heart out to get him to ditch this partay for better options. (Of which I could think about 100) But No......Lewis thought that we should go, and go we did. And low and behold....we actually had fun. Mostly I think it was because we were able to get away from the four maniacs for awhile and just spend some time with each other. In mean, it wasn't our greatest date of all time. It didn't even hold a candle to the time that we got an outdoor couples' massage in Hawaii....now that's a great date FYI. But tonight, to get me out of my sister-leaving-semi-depression....it seemed to work just fine.
08.22.09
Day 17
Bad:
"I'm so tired. I haven't slept a wink. I'm so tired. My mind is on the blink. I wonder should I get up and fix myself a drink. No no no."
God Bless you John, Paul, George, and Ringo. You certainly said it best on a day like today. Well....except for the drink part......(unless they meant diet coke when they wrote that song.) I am REALLY tired today. Exhausted. Drained. It must be from all the partying I've been doing while my sister has been in town. I've really been burning the midnight oil, if you know what I mean. And I am NOT a night person. (Come to think of it.....I'm NOT a morning person either. If you don't believe me, ask Lewis. He told me that I was going to grow up and become a crotchety old grandma if I kept up my ornery ways. True story. Let's just say, I was less than happy with that observation.) But anyway, back to the here and now. Where was I? Oh yeah. Tired. Me. Very. In fact, horror of all horrors (and this may tell you exactly how tired I was) I DID NOT even drink a cherry limeade tonight. Gasp. Now that's just messed up. Seriously.
Good:
Tonight, as a family, we went to the Orem Owlz game. A fun time was had by all (well, maybe except me because well, read the above post. I tried really hard though, I promise.) The funnest part was watching B and seeing how excited he was. (And by excited I mean someone must have put a dang quarter in him because he was CONSTANT MOTION for three hours.) We just sat in the general admission grass seating on blankets and that boy spent the majority of the time rolling down the hill over and over again! He didn't care who got in his way, who's blanket he stepped on, or who he had to take out on the way down. He had a blast!
Other notable things to mention. If you spend $2 on cotton candy for Savannah, she will guard it like she is guarding her life. Oh and also, not share it. No one, and I mean no one, get's between that girl and her cotton candy. Best $2 we've ever spent to keep her occupied for hours.
Also, those dang ice cream sandwiches that are two chocolate chip cookies with vanilla ice cream in between them are PURE EVIL. And contain about 730 calories. And are divine. And you can rationalize eating one of them if you let your kids have a bite every now and again because you didn't eat the whole thing by yourself, right? That's right.
And the best thing? Taking Braden to see the mascots. One would think that with the amount of times our family has been to Disneyland, good old Braden would be used to freaky looking characters walking around mingling with people. Well, one might think that, but they'd be wrong! I'm pretty sure my three year old almost had a panic attack when I tried to get him to shake hands with the Owl. And I'm pretty sure that the screams of pure terror took the mascot by surprise. Oh and also, my hysterical laughing. I'm sorry, but it was just too dang funny!
08.21.09
"I'm so tired. I haven't slept a wink. I'm so tired. My mind is on the blink. I wonder should I get up and fix myself a drink. No no no."
God Bless you John, Paul, George, and Ringo. You certainly said it best on a day like today. Well....except for the drink part......(unless they meant diet coke when they wrote that song.) I am REALLY tired today. Exhausted. Drained. It must be from all the partying I've been doing while my sister has been in town. I've really been burning the midnight oil, if you know what I mean. And I am NOT a night person. (Come to think of it.....I'm NOT a morning person either. If you don't believe me, ask Lewis. He told me that I was going to grow up and become a crotchety old grandma if I kept up my ornery ways. True story. Let's just say, I was less than happy with that observation.) But anyway, back to the here and now. Where was I? Oh yeah. Tired. Me. Very. In fact, horror of all horrors (and this may tell you exactly how tired I was) I DID NOT even drink a cherry limeade tonight. Gasp. Now that's just messed up. Seriously.
Good:
Tonight, as a family, we went to the Orem Owlz game. A fun time was had by all (well, maybe except me because well, read the above post. I tried really hard though, I promise.) The funnest part was watching B and seeing how excited he was. (And by excited I mean someone must have put a dang quarter in him because he was CONSTANT MOTION for three hours.) We just sat in the general admission grass seating on blankets and that boy spent the majority of the time rolling down the hill over and over again! He didn't care who got in his way, who's blanket he stepped on, or who he had to take out on the way down. He had a blast!
Other notable things to mention. If you spend $2 on cotton candy for Savannah, she will guard it like she is guarding her life. Oh and also, not share it. No one, and I mean no one, get's between that girl and her cotton candy. Best $2 we've ever spent to keep her occupied for hours.
Also, those dang ice cream sandwiches that are two chocolate chip cookies with vanilla ice cream in between them are PURE EVIL. And contain about 730 calories. And are divine. And you can rationalize eating one of them if you let your kids have a bite every now and again because you didn't eat the whole thing by yourself, right? That's right.
And the best thing? Taking Braden to see the mascots. One would think that with the amount of times our family has been to Disneyland, good old Braden would be used to freaky looking characters walking around mingling with people. Well, one might think that, but they'd be wrong! I'm pretty sure my three year old almost had a panic attack when I tried to get him to shake hands with the Owl. And I'm pretty sure that the screams of pure terror took the mascot by surprise. Oh and also, my hysterical laughing. I'm sorry, but it was just too dang funny!
08.21.09
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Day 16
Good:
Dear Lewis,
I have a few words for you (quoted from a popular song):
"Shut- up and put your money where your mouth is....."
My picture collage is DONE. And perfect. And hanging on my wall as I speak. And I owe it all to a few things. First, my dear husband, don't bet me to do something, if you don't want it to get done. I ALWAYS win a bet......always. Second, huge props to my sister who (whenever she comes into town) helps me to do stuff that I normally wouldn't do myself. (In fact, my darling Lewis, maybe you should fly her into town more often. Hmmmmm. It's pretty tempting, isn't it?) And lastly, I know you never thought it would get done, but I DID IT, and now you must admit, it looks pretty rockin', doesn't it?
Now pay up.
That's all.
I love you,
Your darling (yes, I finally followed through with something) wife
Bad:
Back when I was in high school my dear old pappy called me into his "den" one day because he had something to show me. It seems as though there was an educational program on the discovery channel that chronicled the life of a housefly and my Dad had recorded it so that all of us kids could watch it. While this may seem bizarre to an outsider looking in, it was not in the least bit strange for us children. My father has always had a long-standing hatred for the fly. And his hate runs deep. So deep, in fact, that he felt it was his civic duty to pass the torch on to all of his offspring. After watching the hour long program, I was sufficiently disgusted and ready to cultivate my own hatred for that disgusting little pest. Well, Dad, I am proud to report that many years later I am a born and bred, true blue, FLY HATER! And this time of year could not make me more crazy!!!! There are flies everywhere. And with four kids coming in and out of the house all day? I'm pretty much screwed. It is not atypical for you to pass by my house and, if my windows are open, hear these sorts of things coming from inside:
"Die, you ball of poop, die!"
"Ha. Ha. Sucker. Gotcha."
"Burn, baby, burn."
"You are going to die a very painful death."
Quickly followed by: "Grab the Clorox wipes.....we've got to disinfect."
And do you want to know something really sad? The flies aren't even really bad this year.....and by really bad I use this for a comparison. When we first moved into our house (which will be seven years ago in a couple of months) I walked in my garage one morning to find flies had COMPLETELY covered the ceiling of my garage. There were hundreds and hundreds of the little suckers and after I dry-heaved AND had a mild panic-attack, I couldn't help but wonder the reason for all those flies being there. Of course, my sick and twisted mind had to wonder.....did one of the people that built our house stash a dead body in the roof of the garage and now the body is decomposing ergo the vast amount of flies covering the roof of my effin' garage? (And yes, I know, I do watch a little too much CSI.) But alas, a more reasonable (albeit, less exciting) explanation is the fact that we lived by cows.....and a lot of people who have horses. (But how was I supposed to know that? I mean, a dead body stashed in your garage is a totally plausible explanation as well.) Well, now that said cows are long gone, I no longer wake to find my garage as a breeding ground for flies, but still..........can't it just freakin' snow already so that we can kill these little suckers off for good?
08.20.09
Dear Lewis,
I have a few words for you (quoted from a popular song):
"Shut- up and put your money where your mouth is....."
My picture collage is DONE. And perfect. And hanging on my wall as I speak. And I owe it all to a few things. First, my dear husband, don't bet me to do something, if you don't want it to get done. I ALWAYS win a bet......always. Second, huge props to my sister who (whenever she comes into town) helps me to do stuff that I normally wouldn't do myself. (In fact, my darling Lewis, maybe you should fly her into town more often. Hmmmmm. It's pretty tempting, isn't it?) And lastly, I know you never thought it would get done, but I DID IT, and now you must admit, it looks pretty rockin', doesn't it?
Now pay up.
That's all.
I love you,
Your darling (yes, I finally followed through with something) wife
Bad:
Back when I was in high school my dear old pappy called me into his "den" one day because he had something to show me. It seems as though there was an educational program on the discovery channel that chronicled the life of a housefly and my Dad had recorded it so that all of us kids could watch it. While this may seem bizarre to an outsider looking in, it was not in the least bit strange for us children. My father has always had a long-standing hatred for the fly. And his hate runs deep. So deep, in fact, that he felt it was his civic duty to pass the torch on to all of his offspring. After watching the hour long program, I was sufficiently disgusted and ready to cultivate my own hatred for that disgusting little pest. Well, Dad, I am proud to report that many years later I am a born and bred, true blue, FLY HATER! And this time of year could not make me more crazy!!!! There are flies everywhere. And with four kids coming in and out of the house all day? I'm pretty much screwed. It is not atypical for you to pass by my house and, if my windows are open, hear these sorts of things coming from inside:
"Die, you ball of poop, die!"
"Ha. Ha. Sucker. Gotcha."
"Burn, baby, burn."
"You are going to die a very painful death."
Quickly followed by: "Grab the Clorox wipes.....we've got to disinfect."
And do you want to know something really sad? The flies aren't even really bad this year.....and by really bad I use this for a comparison. When we first moved into our house (which will be seven years ago in a couple of months) I walked in my garage one morning to find flies had COMPLETELY covered the ceiling of my garage. There were hundreds and hundreds of the little suckers and after I dry-heaved AND had a mild panic-attack, I couldn't help but wonder the reason for all those flies being there. Of course, my sick and twisted mind had to wonder.....did one of the people that built our house stash a dead body in the roof of the garage and now the body is decomposing ergo the vast amount of flies covering the roof of my effin' garage? (And yes, I know, I do watch a little too much CSI.) But alas, a more reasonable (albeit, less exciting) explanation is the fact that we lived by cows.....and a lot of people who have horses. (But how was I supposed to know that? I mean, a dead body stashed in your garage is a totally plausible explanation as well.) Well, now that said cows are long gone, I no longer wake to find my garage as a breeding ground for flies, but still..........can't it just freakin' snow already so that we can kill these little suckers off for good?
08.20.09
Day 15
Bad:
Today was the much anticipated first day O' school. To be quite honest, I wasn't ready for summer to be over. I love the carefree days, the lack of schedules, the coming and going as you please. BUT.....since all good things must come to an end AND since more than likely I would lose my ever-lovin' mind if I had ALL of my kids home with me ALL of the time, I think I was ready to deal with the fact that school was starting whether I liked it or not. And truly, Zach and Ky were really excited. They were up bright and early(too early if you ask me, but whadda ya gonna do), put on their new outfits, posed for some pictures all spiffy and shiny looking, and hopped on the school bus. Now normally.....I am a crier on the first day of school. (To be truly honest, I am a crier in most instances), so me shedding a few tears on the first day of school is not out of the norm. Not by a long shot. But today, I am proud to report, I was sans tears. Maybe it was because they seemed so excited to go to school and I just couldn't be sad for them. Or maybe it's because I anticipated the craziness that my day would behold(ooooohh.....foreshadowing) and I didn't have the time for tears. Or better yet, maybe I'm just a cold-hearted biotch. You choose.
Anyway, with the two oldest long gone and out the door, I was able to quick pull my house together for the bow making party I was to be hosting. I figured we could bust out some hair bows for a couple hours, clean up the house (again) for a bbq that I was hosting that night, and have time leftover to whip up a quick batch of the best homemade cookies in the world for my kiddos as they came home from school.
Here's what really happened:
We got started making the bows later than we anticipated. We made the bows for longer than we anticipated. (Seriously? I am like a bow making phenom. I picked it up in no time flat and was busting those little suckers out.) There were FIVE extra kids in my house. Add all of those things together and you have this when my kids come home from school on their first day.........a complete and utter pandemonium filled household with kids running everywhere and a ginormous MESS out the ying yang. It was not pretty. In fact, it was borderline atomic bomb-ish. I have NEVER in my life had my house that chaotic. So, when my sweet little chillin's walked through the door expecting a little piece of heaven with a homemade cookie and a cold glass of milk, instead what they got was Dante's Inferno. Seriously, it was like the 7th circle of Hell.....I'm not exaggerating......okay, maybe I'm exaggerating just a little, but you catch my drift. I felt so bad for them. Here, they were expecting a nice calm house, and nice well-thought-out snack, and being able to sit on the couch with me as they talked about their first day of school til their hearts content. What they got was what-ever they could find in the pantry for a snack, a house that looked like it had never been cleaned in it's life, and a Mom who was very well on the verge of losing her ever-lovin' mind! Whew. Can we just pretend like this first day never happened? Strike it off the books and start over again tomorrow? Yeah. That's what I'm thinking too. Who's up for some homemade cookies?
Good:
Well, after I was able to pull my shiz together (with the help of my sister and sis-in-law, Theresa) and we got the house all spic and span and the food all gorgeous and delish we were able to sit ourselves down and enjoy a good old-fashioned bbq. We had family and friends over and had quite an enjoyable evening. Long gone were the thoughts of my crazy day as I sat on our back deck, laughed, reminisced, ate some pretty kick-A food, and just plain relaxed. A perfect ending to a (not-so perfect) day.
Today was the much anticipated first day O' school. To be quite honest, I wasn't ready for summer to be over. I love the carefree days, the lack of schedules, the coming and going as you please. BUT.....since all good things must come to an end AND since more than likely I would lose my ever-lovin' mind if I had ALL of my kids home with me ALL of the time, I think I was ready to deal with the fact that school was starting whether I liked it or not. And truly, Zach and Ky were really excited. They were up bright and early(too early if you ask me, but whadda ya gonna do), put on their new outfits, posed for some pictures all spiffy and shiny looking, and hopped on the school bus. Now normally.....I am a crier on the first day of school. (To be truly honest, I am a crier in most instances), so me shedding a few tears on the first day of school is not out of the norm. Not by a long shot. But today, I am proud to report, I was sans tears. Maybe it was because they seemed so excited to go to school and I just couldn't be sad for them. Or maybe it's because I anticipated the craziness that my day would behold(ooooohh.....foreshadowing) and I didn't have the time for tears. Or better yet, maybe I'm just a cold-hearted biotch. You choose.
Anyway, with the two oldest long gone and out the door, I was able to quick pull my house together for the bow making party I was to be hosting. I figured we could bust out some hair bows for a couple hours, clean up the house (again) for a bbq that I was hosting that night, and have time leftover to whip up a quick batch of the best homemade cookies in the world for my kiddos as they came home from school.
Here's what really happened:
We got started making the bows later than we anticipated. We made the bows for longer than we anticipated. (Seriously? I am like a bow making phenom. I picked it up in no time flat and was busting those little suckers out.) There were FIVE extra kids in my house. Add all of those things together and you have this when my kids come home from school on their first day.........a complete and utter pandemonium filled household with kids running everywhere and a ginormous MESS out the ying yang. It was not pretty. In fact, it was borderline atomic bomb-ish. I have NEVER in my life had my house that chaotic. So, when my sweet little chillin's walked through the door expecting a little piece of heaven with a homemade cookie and a cold glass of milk, instead what they got was Dante's Inferno. Seriously, it was like the 7th circle of Hell.....I'm not exaggerating......okay, maybe I'm exaggerating just a little, but you catch my drift. I felt so bad for them. Here, they were expecting a nice calm house, and nice well-thought-out snack, and being able to sit on the couch with me as they talked about their first day of school til their hearts content. What they got was what-ever they could find in the pantry for a snack, a house that looked like it had never been cleaned in it's life, and a Mom who was very well on the verge of losing her ever-lovin' mind! Whew. Can we just pretend like this first day never happened? Strike it off the books and start over again tomorrow? Yeah. That's what I'm thinking too. Who's up for some homemade cookies?
Good:
Well, after I was able to pull my shiz together (with the help of my sister and sis-in-law, Theresa) and we got the house all spic and span and the food all gorgeous and delish we were able to sit ourselves down and enjoy a good old-fashioned bbq. We had family and friends over and had quite an enjoyable evening. Long gone were the thoughts of my crazy day as I sat on our back deck, laughed, reminisced, ate some pretty kick-A food, and just plain relaxed. A perfect ending to a (not-so perfect) day.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Day 14
Well.....today is the much anticipated/much dreaded Last Day of Summer. I'm not quite sure where I stand on the subject. It changes from any given moment (when my kids are fighting non-stop I want nothing more than to ship them off to school in Switzerland) but mostly I'm just a little sad. I hate the end of summer. It brings with it a feeling of dread that, for me, is most likely related to the fact that I Despise (with a capital D) the coming of Winter. But that's another subject for another post. Today, I'm going to list some of the Good AND Bad about this, our last day of Summer Vacation. Boo hoo.
Good:
1. At the very tippity top of my good list is the fact that I don't have to drag FOUR kids here, there, and everywhere whenever I have few errands to run. It is NOT a treat.....for them, or me. I HATE having to take them everywhere I go.....whether it's to the grocery store to grab one item, or the Doctor's office, or even the evil of all evils with four children......the MALL. (I have avoided that place like the plague this Summer.) It's very nice to only have to take up to two kids in places.......even if they are my two worst ones. Oh well.
2. Also, in conjunction with the above......from now on whenever I go places people won't look at me as if I'm the "freak" lady with four kids. I mean, seriously people, FOUR kids is NOT that many kids, is it? Please keep your comments about how it "looks like I have my hands full" and "Wow....are those all yours?" to yourself. I don't need to hear them. Since when did having four kids put you in the same classification as the "bearded lady?" I am not a freak, people.....jeesh. I'm just extremely fertile. So Get over it. And keep your "captain obvious" comments to yourself. Thank you.
3. You know how when your kids play outside all day and when the come inside they, er, well, they stink.......Badly. The only thing that I can compare them to is a wet dog. (That's exactly what they smell like. It is disgusting.) I have taken to giving them showers instead of baths so that they don't have to wallow in a tub that smells like butt. It is not pretty, I tell ya. Well.....now that only 2 of my kids spend every waking moment of their dad gum lives outside and the other two are in school most of the day........my wet dog smell is cut in HALF. It's almost like a little piece of Heaven.....stinky heaven, but heaven nonetheless.
4. Maybe now all of the incessant fighting between the two oldest {may} stop. (Yeah.....and monkeys might fly out of my butt. )But still......a girl can dream can't she?
5. Finally! Nap times can resume. And I'm not just talking about for Braden. There is nothing better than taking the phone off the hook, locking the house down, and hunkering down for a good old fashioned afternoon nap. I'm not ashamed to admit it.....I love a good nap. Some days there's just nothing better.
6. It's no secret that my kids ate me out of house and home this summer. The little lunch mouths wanted to eat ALL DAY LONG. I couldn't tell if all the snacking was because they were bored, hungry, ornery, feisty, tired, happy or what have you. There was no rhyme or reason to their snacking, but I've got news for you......that gravy train has ended. Now I can get back to being the (semi-nazi ) snack mom who dictates when and where you can have a snack and therefore can finally keep a package of goldfish around her house for longer than 37 seconds.
Bad:
1. Well, I have finally lost my biggest helpers. Zachary and Kylie are invaluable to me when it comes to helping me with the younger two. They watch the kids while I exercise. When I'm in the shower. While I'm sitting on the porch chatting it up with my neighbors. They are always willing (when bribed with money) to help me when I ask. I don't know what I'm going to do without them. Now their chores will fall by the wayside and I will have to do all the crumby little jobs that I hate like emptying the garbage and unloading the dishwasher. Now I will have to have kids "all up in my grill" when I'm trying to exercise. Now I will have to put the house on lock-down when I have a shower for fear that one of the younger kids will escape and be out in the road playing with knives.... or something to that extent. It's no fun at all.
2. No more random, spur of the moment trips to St. George where we can go and live there for days on end. Dang that school. It really messes with a lady's plans.
3. I was very, very, spoiled this summer. For the first time in my life (since having kids) I was able to sleep in every day this summer. Sleeping in for me is any time after 8:00 a.m and it happened so frequently and was so dang lovely that I'm not sure I can give it up. I might have to go through a 12-step program just so I can resume my regular up-at-the-butt-crack-of-dawn routine. Plus, I hate, hate, hate setting my alarm. It gives me anxiety. It makes me watch the clock all night long and I find myself constantly counting how many hours, minutes, or seconds I have left of sleep. It find it SO not pleasant.
4. I felt like we didn't do enough this summer. (Of course, I go through this every summer. But still.....) We didn't go swimming enough.....see as many movies.....go camping. We didn't hike as much as I wanted, visit as many places.....you catch my drift. We had fun, but did we have enough fun? I guess there's always next summer.....
5. I am always worried about what sorts of things my kids will pick up from other kids on the playground. Will they learn the ever popular sayings: "Milk, milk, lemonade".......(you know the rest) or how about "Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees, look at these." (Oh yes, my friends, both of these sayings were learned on the playground when I was a wee lass. Lovely.) And I never shall forget how my 6 year old came home talking about the Vanessa Hudgens "nude picture" cell phone scandal. Aye aye aye. Can't I just keep them in a bubble forever where we never have to talk about sex, or bodily functions, or body parts, or any of that disgusting stuff that inevitably is going to be taught to my kids by some little punk on the playground!
6. I'm not gonna lie.....I really am going to miss them. I swear. Cross my heart and hope to die. For all their trouble.....I do LOVE THEM like crazy. Here's to a great school year......
08.18.09
Good:
1. At the very tippity top of my good list is the fact that I don't have to drag FOUR kids here, there, and everywhere whenever I have few errands to run. It is NOT a treat.....for them, or me. I HATE having to take them everywhere I go.....whether it's to the grocery store to grab one item, or the Doctor's office, or even the evil of all evils with four children......the MALL. (I have avoided that place like the plague this Summer.) It's very nice to only have to take up to two kids in places.......even if they are my two worst ones. Oh well.
2. Also, in conjunction with the above......from now on whenever I go places people won't look at me as if I'm the "freak" lady with four kids. I mean, seriously people, FOUR kids is NOT that many kids, is it? Please keep your comments about how it "looks like I have my hands full" and "Wow....are those all yours?" to yourself. I don't need to hear them. Since when did having four kids put you in the same classification as the "bearded lady?" I am not a freak, people.....jeesh. I'm just extremely fertile. So Get over it. And keep your "captain obvious" comments to yourself. Thank you.
3. You know how when your kids play outside all day and when the come inside they, er, well, they stink.......Badly. The only thing that I can compare them to is a wet dog. (That's exactly what they smell like. It is disgusting.) I have taken to giving them showers instead of baths so that they don't have to wallow in a tub that smells like butt. It is not pretty, I tell ya. Well.....now that only 2 of my kids spend every waking moment of their dad gum lives outside and the other two are in school most of the day........my wet dog smell is cut in HALF. It's almost like a little piece of Heaven.....stinky heaven, but heaven nonetheless.
4. Maybe now all of the incessant fighting between the two oldest {may} stop. (Yeah.....and monkeys might fly out of my butt. )But still......a girl can dream can't she?
5. Finally! Nap times can resume. And I'm not just talking about for Braden. There is nothing better than taking the phone off the hook, locking the house down, and hunkering down for a good old fashioned afternoon nap. I'm not ashamed to admit it.....I love a good nap. Some days there's just nothing better.
6. It's no secret that my kids ate me out of house and home this summer. The little lunch mouths wanted to eat ALL DAY LONG. I couldn't tell if all the snacking was because they were bored, hungry, ornery, feisty, tired, happy or what have you. There was no rhyme or reason to their snacking, but I've got news for you......that gravy train has ended. Now I can get back to being the (semi-nazi ) snack mom who dictates when and where you can have a snack and therefore can finally keep a package of goldfish around her house for longer than 37 seconds.
Bad:
1. Well, I have finally lost my biggest helpers. Zachary and Kylie are invaluable to me when it comes to helping me with the younger two. They watch the kids while I exercise. When I'm in the shower. While I'm sitting on the porch chatting it up with my neighbors. They are always willing (when bribed with money) to help me when I ask. I don't know what I'm going to do without them. Now their chores will fall by the wayside and I will have to do all the crumby little jobs that I hate like emptying the garbage and unloading the dishwasher. Now I will have to have kids "all up in my grill" when I'm trying to exercise. Now I will have to put the house on lock-down when I have a shower for fear that one of the younger kids will escape and be out in the road playing with knives.... or something to that extent. It's no fun at all.
2. No more random, spur of the moment trips to St. George where we can go and live there for days on end. Dang that school. It really messes with a lady's plans.
3. I was very, very, spoiled this summer. For the first time in my life (since having kids) I was able to sleep in every day this summer. Sleeping in for me is any time after 8:00 a.m and it happened so frequently and was so dang lovely that I'm not sure I can give it up. I might have to go through a 12-step program just so I can resume my regular up-at-the-butt-crack-of-dawn routine. Plus, I hate, hate, hate setting my alarm. It gives me anxiety. It makes me watch the clock all night long and I find myself constantly counting how many hours, minutes, or seconds I have left of sleep. It find it SO not pleasant.
4. I felt like we didn't do enough this summer. (Of course, I go through this every summer. But still.....) We didn't go swimming enough.....see as many movies.....go camping. We didn't hike as much as I wanted, visit as many places.....you catch my drift. We had fun, but did we have enough fun? I guess there's always next summer.....
5. I am always worried about what sorts of things my kids will pick up from other kids on the playground. Will they learn the ever popular sayings: "Milk, milk, lemonade".......(you know the rest) or how about "Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees, look at these." (Oh yes, my friends, both of these sayings were learned on the playground when I was a wee lass. Lovely.) And I never shall forget how my 6 year old came home talking about the Vanessa Hudgens "nude picture" cell phone scandal. Aye aye aye. Can't I just keep them in a bubble forever where we never have to talk about sex, or bodily functions, or body parts, or any of that disgusting stuff that inevitably is going to be taught to my kids by some little punk on the playground!
6. I'm not gonna lie.....I really am going to miss them. I swear. Cross my heart and hope to die. For all their trouble.....I do LOVE THEM like crazy. Here's to a great school year......
08.18.09
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