Day 35

Good:

What's {almost} as good as becoming a Mom? Becoming an Aunt. (In some ways it's better because I get to hold, snuggle and love a brand new baby and then leave him with his Mama and go home and sleep through the night.) Today my Sister-in-law (Aubree) had the cutest, sweetest, tiniest baby boy Macoy.... and I couldn't be more excited for her. No really. I'm not quite sure I have been more excited for someone that I know to have a baby. He was a long time coming and will make a perfect addition to their family. And did I mention how cute he is?Seriously. Oh the cuteness. And so stinkin' tiny. He weighed 5 lbs. 13 oz. and is a perfect little bundle of bliss. And I'm going to admit something.......for the first time since I've decided to be done having kids.....I got a little teary about it. Not that I regret my decisions or anything, but it made me think back to having my own kids. Kylie weighed exactly what Mac weighs and for a minute it made me think back to the tiny little baby girl that she was and reflect on how quickly she has grown and how fast time is passing.....And now I'm getting all weepy and depressing. Let's just say this: I am glad to have baby Mac join this crazy family and look forward to watching him grow. Enough said.

Bad:

Here is an ode to my poor, pet- less children. They are deprived of any joy and happiness that a pet can bring them because their Mom (and Dad.....I'm not taking all the blame on this one) just don't want pets in the house. I'm not quite sure what's wrong with me (I mean, us.) I mean, my parents let us have any and every pet within reason. Mice, gerbils, birds, cats, dogs, rabbits.....you name it, we had it at one time or another. I'm pretty sure that if we could have gotten a hold of a few hippogriffs we would have had those too. (Shout out to all my fellow Harry Potter nerds.....holla.) Alas, I am a pet Scrooge. And today that was made abundantly clear.

This morning while the kids were outside punking around and waiting for the school bus, they noticed a stray dog laying on our lawn. The dog was white.....(was being the operative word.) It was very, very dirty and very, very calm (which is a big plus in my kid's books as they are slightly terrified of dogs that are crazy or jump up on you.) and all it proceeded to do was lay around on our lawn. The kids tried to pet it with a stick. (Like I said.....dirty dog.) Then they proceeded to try to give it a bath with the hose. This is where I caught them in the act.

Calling Zach and Kylie over to the front porch.....

Me: " WHAT are you guys doing to the poor dog?"

Them: "Giving it a bath. It's dirty. See how dirty it is?"

Me: "Yeeeesssss. I see. However, are you a little bit chilly waiting outside for the bus to come?"

Them: "Yes."

Me: "Well.....how would you like it if I tried to wash you off with the hose?"

Them: Silence.( And point taken.)

So, thus far the poor dog had been pet with a stick and washed off with cold hose water. Lovely. (This is the exact reason I am not prepared to be a pet mommy. I have to babysit my own children.) Then, as Zach and Kylie get on the bus they yell "Mom....make sure you take care of Marshmallow!!!"

What the? Now they've named it. Oh crap. I may be up a creek with this one. So I wait and wait for the dang dog to leave. But it doesn't. All it wants to do is lay in the sun on my lawn and look so pathetic and hopeless and hungry and I can't do a dang thing about it! I am very hesitant to feed it because 1. I don't have any dog food and 2. I'm not quite sure I want the dog to think this is home. So I wait some more. Mostly I am waiting until the people who just moved in get home from work because I am thinking that "Marshmallow" belongs to them. So the kids get home from school and they are beyond overjoyed to find their dog still here. Marshmallow is starting to become a family name. They spend the afternoon outside petting the calm as calm can be dog (without a stick this time....I guess they got a little more brave) and plotting as to how they can convince me to the keep the dang thing! When the neighbors get home from work they quickly run over there only to find out that the dog DOES NOT belong to them. Crappity crap. Now their little brains start plotting. And at dinner time it becomes abundantly clear what they want me to do:

Them: "Mom....can"t we just keep Marshmallow? She's a good dog. We'll take care of her. We'll love her. Just you wait and see."

Me: "No you cannot keep Marshmallow. That dog belongs to somebody else. What if you guys had a dog (when hell freezes over) and that dog ran away and some other little boys and girls decided to keep your dog? Would you like that? I don't think so. And while I'm at it: Marshmallow? Really? Is that the best you can do? It's real name is probably something normal like Sam, or Max.

Braden: "But we love Smarshmallow."

(And right then and there I had half a mind to keep the dog so that I could listen to Braden call it "Smarshmallow" every day.) But I had to be strong.....

Me: "Kids....we need to find out who that dog belongs to. If it's not gone from our lawn by tomorrow morning I'm going to have to call the police and have them come and pick her up."

Them: Silence. (No really. Pure Silence.) And Oh.....were they MAD at me.......

Kylie didn't talk to me for the rest of the night. There were moans and groans of course, but mainly silence. And super mad kids. Mad at a Mom who just won't back down and let them keep the dang dog already. Mad because they wanted a pet and "Smarshmallow" fit the bill. Mad because the police would come and take their beloved dog away and who knows what would happen to her from there.

Like I said......I'm up crap creek. And those paddles? They're LONG gone.

09.08.09

Day 34

Bad:

Anyone who knows me will be the first to say that I am a very independent woman. That Destiny's Child song......"all the women who are independent, throw your hands up at me"......could have been written about me. Really. And I rarely admit defeat. However, today I shall wave that white flag and admit.....Taking four kids by ones self to a self-proclaimed "relaxing" destination has turned out to be one of the least relaxing things I have ever done. I am a mother. I know how hard it can be to be alone with four children. I've done it before. But seriously, I was unprepared for how draining this was going to be on me. Here's what I heard approximately 4 million times at the pool today: "Mom, watch this. Mom watch me. Mom, see this cool trick that I can do." And let's not talk about the number of times that I had to take Savy and B to the bathroom. I swear......their pores absorb pool water. Well.....either that or their drinking it down like a sailor. (I prefer to imagine the former.) Also, it was virtually impossible to sit by the pool,read my book, and relax and enjoy. Maybe I'm just having a crappy day. Maybe my crappy night of sleep added to my crappy mood. Maybe I'm being a crappy Mom......but hey, at least I tried. Is it time to go home yet?

Good:

Well hello bed. I missed you. How's about you wrap your soft, comforting, loving arms around me and lull me into the perfect slumber. Oh yeah. That's gooooood.

The best part of coming home from vacation? Sleeping in my rockin' bed!

09.07.09

Day 33

Bad:

Being the only people in the St. George condo pretty much means we get the run of the place, but since we were only spending two nights there, and since I didn't want to spend all of my time cleaning, and since I'm kinda lazy that way......I decided that the kids and I would all stay in the same room. Uh yeah. Pretty much not my greatest idea. Whenever I stay anywhere.....whether it be a four star hotel or camping.....I can plan on the first night of sleep being pretty terrible. There is really no exception to this. It's just the way it is. However, why I decided to spend my first "terrible" night in the company of my four children and their wicked sleep habits is beyond me. Let me just say.......not the greatest night of sleep I've ever had. We had a little bit of sleep walking, a little bit of sleep talking, a Mom who heard every rustle, grunt and groan, and children who woke up at the butt crack of dawn. Made for a pretty awesome night of sleep.....(in my dreams.) Here's to night two and a better night of sleep. Or perhaps some Tylenol PM.

Good:

I really, truly am in love with St. George. I love the relaxation that it provides for me whenever I visit. (Well, with the exception of the above sleeping saga.) For the most part, days in St. George are filled with sitting by the pool, snacking, and soaking up the sun....you know, the usual. Today we did just that. Here is our routine: Up and at 'em (at the butt crack of dawn) and breakfast down the hatches. Then, dressed in swimsuits, pool bag packed with a sundry of really unhealthy,( but definitely delicious and necessary), snacks (what's a pool party without the Funyuns?) , books to be read, flip flops on and out the door to the pool. Then we swim. And get out of the pool and dry off. And eats snacks. And hop in the pool again. And then out again for some sunning and reading. Then more snacks. Then a lunch break, more swimming, more snacking, more sunning and then the icing on the cake? Really, really, water-logged, sun soaked, purely exhausted children (and mama) which makes for a most excellent nights sleep. Peace at last.

09.06.09

Day 32

Good:

Labor Day weekend and what's a girl to do? Lewis had Burgers Supreme catering events all weekend long, which ruled out going and doing anything fun as a family. So......I bit the bullet and decided to take the kids to St. George BY MYSELF. Four kids, little ol' me and a whole weekend ahead of us. We had a family event on Saturday morning, which postponed my leaving until Saturday afternoon, but with no school on Monday we'd be okay. We'd just sit by the pool, eat snacks, relax, watch movies-you know, the usual St. George itinerary. I was slightly nervous to drive to St. George all by myself.....mainly because I NEVER drive (I make Lewis do the dirty work) and all I ever do is read my book and sleep......both of which I could NOT do if I was driving myself and the four little wild ones down. After a quick stop to load up on plenty 0'snacks (and a Five hour energy shot for moi-again, couldn't have any sleeping on the job) we were ready to head down. The ride was pretty uneventful. The kids are all really good travelers....they just watch movies or sleep. (Plus we make the trip to St. George so frequently it's really nothing to them.) But here is the highlight of the trip........because I was the one in charge, and I was the sole driver and adult of the car, I got to pick the music that was listened to......and here's the clincher......I got to listen to said music AS LOUD AS I WANTED. And the cherry on top? I got to sing along to the songs at the top of my lungs and NO ONE said anything about it. (Take that Lewis.....you singing-along-to-songs-SCROOGE!) And just in case you're wondering......I should really be a professional play-list maker. Man......I sure do know how to put a good play list together. Not to toot my own horn or anything.......but my taste in music pretty much rocks. So, in case you ever need anyone to put a kick-a play list together for you, I'm your gal! No seriously. I really am. I'm that good. Toot. Toot.

Bad:

Here are the questions that are running through my mind as I sit in the St. George condo by myself (well....with my four kids too, but you know what I mean.....)

Will I be okay alone with four kids by myself?

Will I want to lose my mind?

Will I be patient enough to handle all the ups and downs? (After the trip to Wal-Mart tonight to stock up on supplies, I'm pretty sure that I can confidently answer this question with a resounding NO.)

Will I be able to keep the children entertained?

Will I be able to watch all the kids at the pool by myself?

What if I have to take Savy to the St. George Insta-care for the umpteenth time, what will I do with the other kids?

Will I eat myself sick and gain 5 lbs. ?

Would watching a show about a serial killer who kills serial killers while staying in the condo all by myself be such a good idea?

Will I get any sleep at all if I share a room with ALL of my kids?

These questions and many others remains to be seen. I guess the next few days will hold the answers to these riveting questions and many others. I'm on the edge of my seat with anticipation....and I'm sure you are too.( No really.....this is pretty exciting stuff right here.)

09.05.09

Day 31

Bad:

Have I ever told you the story about how I scarred my child for life and caused her to have severe claustrophobia and a fear of being locked in places. Well.....I did. Unintentionally, mind you.....but I did nonetheless. We are not "spankers" in our house. We don't believe in it. So naturally, our most preferred method of discipline is a good old fashioned "time out." About a year ago I started to notice that whenever Savy would go into time out she would flip out. I mean, the girl would go ape and cry and scream and I would often think to myself, "Wow. That punishment is really effective." (Chalk one up to Mom.) It wasn't until a few months later when she refused to go to a friend's birthday party because he had child proof things on all of his doorknobs in his house, (and she was scared that she couldn't get out of the house) that I realized "Oh.my.gosh. She's got one of those child proof things on her doorknob on the inside of her room." (You know, so she couldn't let herself out of time out.) So......basically what I was doing was causing her pure pain, terror, and torture every time she went into her room for a timeout because she thought she was never going to get out of the room again. ( I'm a mean Mom, but c'mon. I'm not that mean.) Hence the really hysterical, "I think I'm going to die" crying every time she went to time out. (Yes....I'm pretty sure I'll be paying her therapy bills in several years.) So now.....every time she goes to timeout (yes, still using that method of punishment) I make sure that I leave the door open and make her sit on the bed.

Well.....today we were having one of "those days." And usually if I threaten timeouts it'll whip her right into shape (again, having scarred her for life and all that jazz) but today? No go. She was being naughty and she knew it. So? I whisked her right to time out and made her lay on her bed while I put Braden down for his afternoon nap. There were tears, (lots of them), and screams and hysteria and then? Nothing. So I look in her room and wouldn't you know it.....she had fallen asleep on her bed. So naturally, feeling like the most horrific mom in the world and realizing that I further have scarred her for life by letting her cry herself to sleep, I kissed her, covered her with a blanket and slowly tip-toed out of her room lest I wake the sleeping beast. I mean, I was sad and all......but two sleeping kids? That's a Christmas Miracle.

Good:

Let me reiterate: TWO SLEEPING KIDS (at once). Both of them napped for 2 1/2 hours and can I just say, the silence was loverly! It was almost like I didn't know what to do with myself. Who are we kidding.....I didn't know what to do with myself. Should I clean? Veg on the couch? Eat treats that I keep hidden from kids? Organize? Waste time on the computer? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. And Yes. I got a momentary glimpse into my future and all I can say is IT WAS FABULOUS.

09.04.09

Day 30

Good:

Tonight Lewis had to work late at work..... so as soon as I put the kiddos to bed I was able to start my date with my favorite serial killer: Dexter Morgan. It was just him, me, and my cherry limeade and oh baby.........life was gooooooood! I know I am sick and twisted. I know that the Showtime drama "Dexter" should not have such a hold on me, but man......it does. Whoever thought that a show about a serial killer who kills (what else) serial killers would be so DANG addictive? Who ever thought that I would be rooting for a serial killer and praying he doesn't get caught? Not I, says the little pig.....yet I find myself loving every second of that show. Maybe there is something wrong with me after all?????


Bad:

The brownies and I had a stand-off and the brownies won.

Me:0
Brownies: 1

Why is losing weight so hard? Why is dieting such a &*$#! ?{Insert handy expletive here.}
Why can I never resist the lovely, gooey, chocolaty powers of a brownie????

I am so shamed.
And 30 pounds overweight.
Suck.

09.03.09

Day 29

Bad:

Dare I even say this? Should I even put this out there? I know it's only (September 2nd.)* I know I have a good month and a half before things start to cool down, but really.....I think I am ready for that. GASP. Now we all know the "love" that I have for the Winter season. (And by "love" I mean really, really intense hatred.) I don't like the snow. I hate to be cold. All the days start to feel the same. (Of course, the Winter brings Christmas.....which I love.....my Anniversary.....and Valentine's day.....but can't we do that without all the snow and cold? ) So, that brings me back to the beginning. Did I really just say that I'm ready for things to cool down? Well.....today I am. Mostly because I am sick of kids being outside all day. I am sick of kids knocking on my door asking to play. I am sick of not knowing where my kids are at any given moment. I am sick of my kids trying to beg snacks off neighbors. I am sick of neighbors trying to beg snacks off me. I am sick of kids asking to play inside the house when it is a beautiful day and they should be playing outside because in a month and a half they will not be able to play outside anymore. (Phew.....how's that for a run-on sentence.) I think mostly, though, I just want my kids by me. I want them to be content playing with each other for awhile. I want to hunker down in my house with a blanket, a lovely beverage and a good book and have my kids do the same.

Is that too much to ask? I don't think so.

*Actual date I'm journaling about

Good:

Well, what initially started out as a bad thing, turned out to be a blessing in disguise. The other day I was gnawing down some good old fashioned cinnamon bears......(I mean I was pounding those bad boys)......when I felt something funny. When I pulled the half-chewed cinnamon bear out of my mouth there was my crown staring me straight in the face. (Yes, that's right. I have a false tooth. Don't judge. Just blame it on my crack-pot, crook of a dentist who had me get a root canal when one probably wasn't necessary. But NO......I'm not bitter or anything.) So.....I called my current dentist (not the crack-pot) straightway and scheduled an appointment to have that bad boy glued back on.......or at least that's what I thought.......
Well, long story short.......there was some decay under the crown, but it was just tiny, so he was able to fix it in no time at all, glue that bad boy on, and I was good to go.....Crisis adverted. Gosh I'm so glad my current dentist isn't a greedy crook!

09.02.09